grudge gradually disappearing

In a previous entry, a little button maker, I talked about a situation with someone at work.  Let me tell a little more....I know you are so interested. 

At my previous school, I was a friend of this person.......until this happened I was supposed to be bridesmaid in her wedding.  To make the story short, but sweet, she betrayed me and put my job in jeopardy.  I eventually quit, as did five others, due to the pressure and accusations.  In the end, we had a valid lawsuit, but being teachers we were afraid that it would hurt our chances of finding another job.  I must admit that I have held a terrible grudge.  It's really hard to forgive and forget!  I was really worried about working near her during summer school.  But, you know the good Lord took care of me and gave the preacher a sermon just for me on Sunday.  Isn't that eerie when you know what's in your head, and the preacher starts talking about it.  Anyway, it was a sermon about forgiveness and not holding grudges.  So, I decided that even though we would never be friends again as before, I could at least be nice.....which I have done.  We even went to lunch with two other friends today.  However, after it was over, I talked with one of the friends that went with us.  It was very aggravating that she often referred to what they did, but never admitted any guilt in the incident.  I'm sorry, but I just can't overlook that little detail.  I will continue to be nice to her, but lunch or any other situation like that, will not happen again.  I know that it seem petty, but I have dealt with this as long as I can....it's time to move on. 

Only six more days of summer school!!!!!!!

summer school blues

I am absolutely over this, and I've only been there for three days.  The kids know that it's summer, and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.  They don't want to even attempt to do the centers.  It's like having eight kids that need one-on-one attention! Blah, blah, blah....I think that is what is going through their heads when I'm teaching. 

Only seven more days!!!

I've got all of these projects that I want to do this summer.  But you know how projects are.....you think you will get to them, but you don't.  I'm cleaning out the closet and needless to say things are a mess! But, I think that is the way that it's suppose to be. 

I guess that's it for today!

stormy weather

As I sit on the back porch and feel the cool breeze, everything outside seems at peace. Nature is receiving a break from the cruel heat, and I am calmed by the clouds. For most of my life I was terrified of bad weather. My parents could never figure out what caused this fear to begin. They never showed any anxiety about the weather. Believe me; we have been in some stormy situations (pun intended).

I am from Mississippi and in my early childhood, we lived in the northern part of the state. My Mom said that I would run home from the neighbors if I heard thunder miles away or saw the slightest hint that it might rain. In this area it also snowed a lot. I remember one time that I opened the car door to jump out into the road. I thought it would be better that staying the car that was sliding toward the ditch. Ah…..the intelligence of a five-year old that was holding on for dear life…..go figure!!!!!

Then we moved to a part of the state know for tornados, and it didn’t help that Hurricane Fredrick went straight through the town. We moved closer south during my elementary and junior high years. Everyone close to our family knew that I panicked in the wake of a storm. Tornado drills and actually tornado warnings made me a nervous wreck. Unfortunately for me, during my high school years we lived in the delta….four miles from the Mississippi River. There were several things that I learned in the delta, which will have to be a completely different blog. The one thing I learned is that the weather was always tumultuous. A mild line of storms could come from Arkansas, hit the river and then you would think we were in the scene from “The Wizard of Oz”. (I told that to one of my friends that took a trip the delta, she just laughed. She came back with a different expression and told me that the clouds were mesmerizing and strange. Which made her want to run home!!! I just laughed.) We didn’t have cable and couldn’t get the weather channel. The only thing to do was go outside. Motto: If the tornado was coming toward you, run inside and cover yourself. If it wasn’t, thank God and hope there is not another one!

There are two points that I find ironic. First, I now live on the gulf coast of Mississippi (Hurricane country), and my fear is dull and limited. It seems to have faded in the time that I have spent here. Which, I know, sounds absolutely crazy. Second, my mom has a theory about my fear of the weather. Since I am adopted, she thinks that at some point my birthmother must have been in a terrible storm which may have cause her stress. When I was younger I thought this was neat conclusion, but now I realize that it has full merit. Today people talk, play music and read stories to the unborn child. Maybe instead of music…..I heard thunder!

I hear again now, but I am not longer afraid!

a little button maker

Just as I expected, I did not want to get up this morning and go to work.  But, ya do whatch gotta do! lol  I got things in my room organized.  It's hard when you are not actually in your room, or school as a matter of fact.  You don't want to "mess with" anyone's stuff.  Teacher's are really picky about their stuff.  I left and went to the material center for our district.  Being new to the district this year, I hadn't really spent a lot of time there.  Let me tell you, did I HAVE FUN.  I made buttons, posters, and I think I saw ever dye cut imaginable.  A teacher's dream.....or worst nightmare!  I say nightmare because I was thinking to myself...."I can just come back in July for a couple of days and make all kinds of stuff for my class!"  Yep....more stuff! 

Today's schedule was really flexible, which proved to be very beneficial for me.  One of the teachers for summer school used to be a friend of mine.  I should have seen the signs, but I didn't.  I paid for it too.  Let me put it to you this way.  The problem happened about two years ago (in another school district), and the knives are still in my back.  It was just a situation in which she wanted to supposedly advance, and the way to do it was to try to make me look bad.  Needless to say.....forgiven, but not forgotten.  Trust is not something she will ever have again.  I think the part that annoys me is that she still doesn't admit to anything, which is B.S.  Everyone we worked with knows what she did. Plus the fact that she was never one of those "meant to be teacher" kinda people.  She squeaked by with her work, and I just knew it would catch up with her in the new district.  Somehow, they don't see it.  I am calling it the "honeymoon" year.  Next year, it might be different.  I can see the conversation when we meet (because it will be same as before).....

"Hey Ms. #####, how are you today?" (smiling and turning head, waiting for an answer)

"Fine." (staring, thinking....are you really talking to me?)

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what was I thinking???

I am sitting here (when I should already be in bed) thinking about how absolutely insane I must be.  I haven't been on summer break but a week, and tomorrow I have to go to work (summer school).  What was I thinking?  I know what I was thinking, so let me re-examine the situation.  I was thinking that this would be a great way to make a little extra money.  However, I was not thinking about how much I would hate the thought of interupting my time at home.  So, I guess I will just have to focus on the money and the fact that it's only for two weeks (7:30-12:30).  I know it sounds like a small amount of time.  Hopefully it won't drag.  It is horrible when you spend the day looking at the clock.  Tomorrow and Friday are for organizing our classroom and writing lesson plans.  I'm not the worksheet type of teacher so my centers have definitely been unpacked!  Maybe it will be fun.....let's keep the fingers crossed.

I read Mocha Momma's new blog.  It's a good read....you should go there for a laugh.  I bet that no one will criticize her blog again!

Thanks to Marisa for her comments and motivation!  And for letting me know that I had serious typos in the last blog!!!

Just a little tid-bit.  Normally a building permit in the area that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina was about $100.....now $3000.  Explains why people haven't started building again.  I think there should be a lawsuit somewhere is the difference of those numbers.